Going through the (selling) emotions

As is often the case in the blogosphere (at least it is in the part I frequent) I’ve seen contrasting posts on, nominally, the same subject over the last few days.

The first was from Jim Keenan, titled ‘Be Emotional’.  In it Jim makes a powerful argument that, to succeed in sales, you need to be emotional at least part of the time.

“When we truly feel what our customers feel, then and only then can we be the best sales person we can be.

Be emotional damn it!”

The second one is from Jill Konrath, ‘Don’t do what this guy did at a sales meeting’.  At the end of a short masterclass in how not to sell, Jill says

“As sellers, we need to be aware of -- and in control -- of our emotions.”

Curiosity piqued by an apparent conflict of opinion, I turned to an on-line dictionary which gave me (amongst other things)

e·mo·tion / [ih-moh-shuhn]

noun - any of the feelings of joy, sorrow, fear, hate, love, etc.

Not too much help so I went back and got

pas·sion / [pash-uhn]

noun - any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.

and

em·pa·thy / [em-puh-thee]

noun - the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

Now we might be getting somewhere!  I think Jim is talking about empathy.  You might want to show your customer love, joy, sorrow or passion but fear and hate are probably not great ones to have on display!

However, show him that you are on his wavelength and you’re probably on the right lines.

Jill, on the other hand (and in my humblest of opinions) is only partly right.  What’s wrong with showing a little joy to your customer?  The key word, of course, is little as that indicates a level of control.

All of this leaves me in a slightly awkward position - on more than one occasion in my sales career I have been told that I lack passion and I need to get more passionate about what I am doing and what I am selling.

However, sit or stand next to me at the Millennium Stadium when Wales are just about to go in under the posts and you’ll see and hear enough passion to last you a lifetime!

About a year ago, I took a psychometric test specifically aimed at sales people.  What a revelation that was!  (Another post, another time, maybe).  Turns out I have very low empathy and even lower ‘need to nurture’  It also turns out that these aren’t necessarily bad things!  Apparently it means I can focus on the task in hand without being distracted and I bounce back from rejection pretty well – something that’s essential if you sell stuff for a living.

Despite my low empathy score, I would actually be interested to hear your thoughts on the place of emotions in selling.